Recently, many parents of preschoolers joined in our annual Parenting Workshop with the topic “Fondness and King’s syndrome”
The meeting responded to parents’ questions about caring and teaching young children with useful advices from Dr. Nguyen Thi Bich Hong – Lecturer of Ho Chi Minh City Pedagogy University.
Ảnh trái: TS Bích Hồng trình bày tại hội thảo; Ảnh phải: Phụ huynh được thỏa đáp thắc mắc tại hội thảo
According to Dr. Bich Hong, “King’s syndrome” is very common in today’s society. Some of the result is that parents are too busy with work. Family members are not clear about the psychological effects on the children causing them to be over fond. At this point, the family may accidentially hurt young childrens’ psychology and affect the process of forming the personality of the children.
There were some expressions, bad effects of fondness led to ‘King’s Synsdrome” and prevention as below:
Expression of fondness
- Special treats: specify children’ needs with the best.
- Over anxious: Over care about feeding and caring for students… More care from adults may lead to fondness.
- Coax with promise (For example: we will buy you toys if you finish your meal)
- Ask someone to complete tasks for children.
- Embrace childrens’ independence (For example: changing clothes for them although they can do it by themself)
- Making decisions on behalf of the child. For example: choosing clothes as parents think that they will make a better choice than children. This limits the child’s freedom.
- Cover up their mistakes.
“Syndrome of King”
- Accompany and serving: when children are out, the family worry too much. It is wonderful that we care for children. However, it should not be overrated. This will result in King’s syndrome.
- Command and control: Ask someone to satisfy their needs. If the need is not met, they will cry and throw a tantrum.
- Harassment and clamour.
- Fake power: Pretending to be “someone else”. For example, they just want to be in positions of power such as: directors and famous people… despite not practicing or working hard.
- Easy to get angry and blame for mistakes.
- No emotion.
Cause of King’s Syndrome
With the development of society, especially technology and services which help parents easily satisfy childrens’ immediate needs. In addition, lack of experience in educating children would be the subjective reason. Parents give children “blind” love, to compensate for the fact that they are not caring their children. Parents are not persistent in educating and seem to be impatient with children’s demands and harassment.
Effects of fondness
- Forms bad characteristics and habits for young children.
- Slow development or deviatory development.
- Annoys people.
- Unsuccessful in the future.
How to prevent fondness?
- Practice independent habit.
- Apply “3- Nos”- No satisfication on childrens’ needs. No giving immediate satisfication. Not enough satisfaction.
- Combine “Love” and “discipline” in educating and caring children.
- Build up rules and boundaries in family
- Set rules for both meal time and play time.
- Punish children by “Sitting in the corner”
- Agreeing on solutions
- Being strict if children harass parents
- Giving children responsibility